Barry Watched the 60th Emmy Awards

I noticed a few things about the Emmys that I wanted to share. Sure it’s not an eloquent opening, but I really don’t care.

Side note: I really wanted to edit out the accidental rhyme, but part of the beauty of the WO is the willingness of it’s contributors to jump on the grenade or perhaps under the bus. I should be slapped for that rhyme. I’m just going to let it sit there, and torture myself with it. I really really do hate it. Anyway back to the blog.

Tina Fey is up first. What can one say about Tina? Ms. Fey is hot, smart, funny and just an all around perfect woman. Can people please stop comparing her to Sarah Palin? After all Sarah Palin is none of the above. Why? Have you ever heard Palin during an interview? Not a speech prepared by a team of people trained to shape her image. I’m talking about a legit interview. I honestly think my dog is smarter than her. Tina Fey is amazing. Sarah Palin is a governor of a state no one cares about. Stop the comparisons.



Moving on…. It’s time to scold the Emmy writers. Oscars, Grammys, Mtv Whatever Awards, etc… please take note. You can’t write. You unfunny C’s ruin everything. Why do you torture us year after year with your flat humor? I blame Sean Penn. Sean… Chris Rock was hilarious. Maybe because you don’t have a sense of humor you have to go and be an ass, but don’t ruin it for the rest of us. Same goes to Jordan Sparks. Jordan, no one cares about your opinion. You snaked a career via an ‘effin reality show. So the Jonas Brothers wear promise rings, and someone made fun of them. Big deal. I think the more humorous aspect of the Jonas Brothers wearing promise rings is the fact that they can have almost any girl now, but by the time they’re ready to get busy… their record will be in the 99cent bin and no one would ever consider ‘effing them. Especially now that we realize they can’t defend themselves, and need Jordan Sparks to stand up for them.

Along the same lines, who likes Josh Groban? Seriously? Can someone please make this over dramatic ass stop? Please?

Sorry… back to the writers. You all suck. Give your paychecks back now. You are a disgrace to every writer that was on strike last year.

Finally (and the main reason for this post), the WO’s dreams almost came true. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden Panettiere present an award together. Well that may not be entirely accurate. The dream is to be in a Hewitt-Panettiere sandwich, but lets put that aside for now (perhaps that’s a whole other blog post). Amanda Beckett and Claire Bennet on stage at the same time? Be still my heart. Finally award shows seem to be throwing straight males a bone. It was a beautiful moment, and I nearly cried out of joy. What award did they announce? No clue. All I heard at that moment where birds and choirs of angels. Buford felt the same way, considering it was mentioned in the first email he sent me Monday. The WO thanks the Emmys for that. It was truly the only way to celebrate the 60th anniversary.

~barry

Questions/Comments? You know where to reach us.

Man Crush...First? Last? We will see...

Someone mentioned on Barry's Facebook that we didn't have a man list to complement our Monthly WO Poll... So, we gave it a shot. We're all about keeping it fair...I don't know if this is what she had in mind, but what the hell? It passed the time...and I barely questioned my sexuality at all putting this together! In no particular order, here it is:


Matthew McConaughey - The guy has parlayed a supporting character role in a movie from 15 years ago into a career and lifestyle. Or did his lifestyle create the role of Wooderson? Either way, I love this guy. Even his stupid movies are enjoyable to me (and really, that is most of them.) I also love the fact that he was able to successfully avoid bad press after smoking weed and playing the bongos naked. Could you imagine if that was anyone else? Seriously…this guy gets a pass from EVERYONE.

Seth Green - “Seth Green is gold... even if it's gold shit.” Barry sent me that in an email. And it really sums up Seth Green. Even the crappiest show or movie he has done is totally watchable, just for his scenes if nothing else. Plus, he was in The Byrds of Paradise with JLH. Fortunately, working with JLH did not help Scott Wolf or Matthew Fox make the list.









Bruce Campbell - The B movie legend himself. Bruce Campbell brings the goods and is just awesome in everything. I’m pretty sure you could just roll up to him at a bar and start talking to him too. I’m watching him on Burn Notice every week and I’m digging it. Hell, I feel like I need to re-watch Army of Darkness and Escape from LA tonight.








Sam Elliott – I’m pretty sure there should be a picture of Sam in the dictionary next to the term ‘Bad Ass’. I have yet to see him in a movie where he wasn’t the coolest guy in it. Hell, I watched Ghost Rider (three times!) just because of Sam. Speaking of which; how did Nick Cage screw that movie up so bad? That movie almost HAD to be awesome. I’m angry again.


Giovanni Savarese – Probably the main reason we here at the WO still believe that Metro (The Red Bulls) are something to follow. Came out of nowhere in the inaugural season scored a bunch of goals and just made the first few seasons worth watching. He isn’t playing or working for the team any longer, but he is still in our hearts. Sidenote, Barry and I have met more than one celebrity in our day. Gio is the only one that turned us into little school girls when we were introduced to him.




Clint Eastwood – This guy has been kicking ass and taking names for decades. I’m afraid if he wasn’t on this list that he might come find us at the WO headquarters and just end us. You do NOT f-with Clint. Period.








Kevin Spacey - American Beauty, The Usual Suspects, Seven, he’s from Jersey, questionable sexuality…how can he NOT be on this list? I liked him in the new Superman movie too…even if I thought that new Superman movie kind of sucked.






Tommy Lee Jones – Another one of the ‘tough guys’ of Hollywood. Always cool in his movies and in interviews. I loved him in the Fugitive. Sam Gerard was just as tough as it gets. Hell, they made a sequel based on his character. They knew what was up. Big fan of all of his work (Yes, even Under Siege)…I also find it amusing that he probably has tons of awkward pictures of Al Gore getting colored on or tea bagged after ‘late nights’ at Harvard bars. And yes, Tommy is apparently wicked smaht too.

Johnny Depp – I don’t think much needs to be said about Johnny. So, I will just tell a little story instead. I was 18 years old and I was getting a tattoo. I wanted to get the same tattoo that Johnny had (the Indian head, not the wino(na) forever tattoo). Anyway, I thought it was awesome. I’m part Indian (allegedly), it’s perfect. Tattoos are supposed to mean something. So the Indian head would work two fold….Celebrate my (alleged) heritage and honor my secret man crush. So, I get there and I find the tattoo I want. The problem is its 300 bucks. I’m 18 and do not have 300 dollars, not even close…plus, my parents HATE tattoos, so I couldn’t very well ask them. Damn, I guess I wasn’t supposed to get the same tattoo as Johnny. So I found this tribal-esque Phoenix. 75 bucks. Done. I’m 18 and I have my tat and everything is awesome. Except a few years later I see it on someone else. It’s on someone from another show on Fox. Yes. I now have the same tattoo as Brian Austin Green. I guess it could have been worse. I could have gotten the same tattoo as David Faustino.

David Wright - He'll consistently give you a .300 average, with 30 HRs and 100 RBIs, he'll play an almost flawless third base, he's accommodating to fans and media, and he does everything with a smile (the ladies tell me he's easy on the eyes, too). In a world where professional athletes are aloof and self-centered (read "assholes"), David is one of those guys who "gets it". He's a throwback to a simpler time where players cared more about championships, teammates and fans than they did about paychecks. He's also a white guy, which is becoming increasingly rare these days. Where did all those guys go, anyway?

Posthumously:

Heath Ledger - I think Heath had a chance to be something big. He made some really good movies, seemed like a down to earth guy, and (obviously) liked to party. Plus, he even tried to make gay cowboys cool…which didn’t really work out, but at least he was a top, right? I haven’t seen the Dark Knight yet, but Barry gives it rave reviews. I will always remember him from Monster’s Ball and 10 Things I Hate About You. Monster’s Ball because he showed he was a ridiculous talent and 10 things for introducing some of us to the glory that is Julia Stiles. Also, he nailed an Olsen Twin! That gets you on the list.

Steve McQueen – Does Steve still get the love he should on being the ultimate Man’s man? Probably not anymore…which is sad. This guy did it all... and he did it all with a Marlboro hanging out his mouth. For Bullitt alone, the guy needs to be mentioned every time a list like this is created.

So....There you have it...or First Man Crush list. Let us know if we left anyone off... or if we have completely gone over to the gay side...

-Buford

The WO Poll - July 08

Life has been hectic for us all, but with the help of R.U.D.I. (Referential Universal Digital Indexer) the WO’s computer, July’s list is done. The numbers have been crunched, the ties have been broken, and now it’s up for you to enjoy.

1. (1) Kristen Bell – Once again, Kristen has a tight grasp on the number one spot. Once again, she blew all the other competition out of the water. What more can be said about her? It’s been proven time and time again, that Kristen Bell is the W.O. “it” girl of the year… so far.











2. (2) Elisha Cuthbert – Another month removed from Sean Avery, and another month in the number two slot. Buford recently watched Old School again, and was quite impressed. With a few projects in production and in post-production, we’re willing to bet she’ll be near the top for awhile.

3.(3) Jennifer Love Hewitt – Holding on strong in the number three spot once again, JLH remains in our minds and hearts. Ghost Whisperer still makes it on TV, and she is executive producing and voicing a character for the upcoming animated series, Angry Little Girls. The girl is keeping busy.






4.(5) Katherine Heigl – Another romantic comedy in the works. Go figure. Heigl moves up a slot. Although some at the WO feel that Knocked Up is a tad overrated, she was in it, and a few of us watched it again recently.









5.(4) Olivia Munn – Down a spot, but don’t fret Olivia. We still love you. I’m sure we’ll love you even more when The Slammin’ Salmon comes out. You know how we love Broken Lizard movies.









6.(9) Mandy Moore – Taking a huge leap up the list. We’ll maybe not huge, but she moves a few spots. Who knew Mandy was a UFC fan? That’s pretty sexy. Also, it doesn’t hurt that this video was brought to our attention. Click Here For Link Thank you Smash on Yahoo! Music for making this HOT cover of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” possible. Shut up. It’s good.






7.(7) Keira Knightley – Miss Number Seven. She pulled into the seven slot in May, and hasn’t left since. What’s ahead for Keira? More period pieces. She’s most likely the only reason any of us would even consider sitting through them. God bless you for making us all cultured.








8.(8) Blake Lively – Holding strong in the number eight slot is Buford’s discovery. If I’m going under the bus for the Mandy Moore video, then he goes under for being an avid Gossip Girl watcher.









9.(6) Megan Fox – Taking a dive, Megan switches spots with Mandy. It happens from time to time. We haven’t seen her in awhile, but I don’t see her dropping off the list next month. She’s in Whore with Ron Jeremy and a Transformers sequel. If that isn’t geek cred, well I just don’t know what is.

10.(NR) Gracyanne Barbosa – Climbing back out of the bubble and sending Vida Guerra down, Gracyanne pulls through with big news. She has been reupped as a Carnaval Queen. At least that’s what our Brazilian informants have told us. I can’t read the link, but maybe you can. Click Here For Link









And once again the list comes to a close. Vida Guerra, as mentioned before, finds her way into the bubble. The company remains good down there with Lingerie Football League player Reby Sky, Mila Kunis and Jessica Alba. There are also some new comers to the bubble including Julia Stiles, Anne “Agent 99” Hathaway and Cynthia “I’m getting half of everything” Rodriguez.

We’ll see you next month, and don’t be afraid to leave a comment. Let us know how you feel about the list. Who’s missing? Who shouldn’t be there? You know the drill.

-barry

Bad Movies

I like bad movies. I do. I didn't fully grasp this until recently. Barry sent me an email about a week ago bitching about a commercial he saw for the new Ashton Kutcher movie and how this guy can still be employed. I responded that he was insane. Any movie that has a trailer with a guy pissing on dishes is going to be funny. I think we fought for a while about it but, end result, I accepted the fact that I like bad movies and I really didn't have a leg to stand on.

Funny bad movies at least. I don't understand it. Maybe what Holden in 'Chasing Amy' said is right, 'The real money is in dick and fart jokes'. I don't know if thats true or not, but if you make a stupid movie, with sight gags, minimal plot, and throw in some gratitious nudity....I'm watching it.

Recently, I was flipping channels. I came across "Little Man", I'm fairly certain that this movie didn't make any top ten lists the year it came out. Yet, there is a scene in the movie where the 'baby' (a midget that noone has figured out isn't a toddler..fucking stupid, right?????) banged his foster mom when she was sleeping. I laughed. out loud. It was embarrassing. But it was funny. It also had Tracey Jordan in it..and he is awesome.

Another one that I stumbled upon...The Larry the Cable Guy movie. I didn't see the entire movie but I flipped on during a point when he had the shits and there was a scene of him blast testing a toilet....It was fantastic. I lasted 30 minutes. I would have watched the entire thing if my wife didn't walk in and demand I take an IQ test. She hates me.

Anyway, between Barry breaking my balls about Ashton, The cable guy movie, and Little Man, I don't think there is any hiding it. I love a bad movie. Is that wrong? I don't know. Does it make me a bad person that I don't feel the need to 'learn' something from everything I watch? I don't think I care.

So, I'm calling for it...I know we have at least a few people that check this site on occasion...raise you flag!!!! What stupid movie do you love?

Here are a few of mine:
1. Dude? Where's my car?
2. Little Man
3. Larry The Cable Guy
4. National Lampoon Movies (that have been made in the last 6-8 years)
5. Bio Dome

Hannah Montana - What my life has become and where it will never go

Hannah Montana – What my life has become and where it will never go

I have three daughters. Two of the three like Hannah Montana. Actually, one of the three LOVES Hannah, my middle daughter loves anything her older sister likes. The youngest, well, she is just learning to walk, so she hasn’t pledged her allegiance either way yet. I’m sure she will be a Hannah fan in short order.

For those of you checking the WO that do not have children (or read newspapers at this point), the 3D movie was just released. I promised the girls I would take them. So, I took them over Sunday. Its playing in 2 theaters, 1 or 130pm works for me, I will be home to enjoy my cocktails and watch the Super Bowl without a problem. Except, that apparently I completely underestimated the appeal of Miley Cyrus. ALL shows were sold out. I bought tickets while I was there (for $18 bucks a piece!!!!….asshats) for the 5pm show the following day.

I canceled a meeting and left work early to go to the movie. I was embarrassed, but it’s for my kids and I think these are the things you are supposed to do (at least that is what I kept telling myself.) We got to the theater about 30 minutes before it started, and there was a line out the door already. I’m pretty close to killing myself at this point. Anyway, we get into the theater; I score solid seats towards the back and grab booster seats for the girls (who knew these were available?) The show finally starts 30 minutes later. 77 minutes after that, its over. The girls are happy, I’m out 54 bucks (and a little dignity) and that was that.

So, the point I’m trying to make is……..seriously, this isn’t just me bitching about living in a house with four women. (Although, I REALLY should think about that)

Here is what I learned at Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (2008).

• I have come to fully accept that I actually like this music now. It was a sad day, but I don’t listen to ‘my’ music anymore. I tried to pretend that I ‘tolerated’ this music for a while. At the movie when she started playing a song I like, I leaned over to nudge my daughter. As in, ‘I can’t believe they are playing this!’ I was pretty close to just slamming my head in the car door afterwards.


• There is a scene in the movie where they show a bunch of fathers that showed up for a contest to win 4 tickets to the actual concert. There were a TON of dads. They had to race across a soaked parking lot in high heels. They all did this. And did it willingly. They even signed releases to be in a god damn movie doing it! I will never be this dad. This is not something that is negotiable.


• The new 3D technology is LEGIT and the 3D glasses are much better than they used to be too. They are like normal sunglasses now. This might all be old hat to Disney/MGM/Epcot folks, but I haven’t been down to Orlando in about 20 years. This was all new and cool to me.


• They showed previews for a Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D (2008) and U2 3D (2007) before the movie. WOW. They have come a LOOOOONG way since I sat through Jaw 3 in 3D. I mean, it’s not like they just have those stupid things that shoot out anymore, and the whole movie is layered now. It’s awesome and I’m definitely going back to another 3D movie. I hope they look to use this more often. At least where it will work.


• And finally I learned that I’m a pretty good father, because Rambo was playing at the same time and I didn’t even THINK about leaving my kids alone to sneak into the next theater to watch it. Nope, thought never crossed my mind. Not once. Well, not for long at least. Alright, let’s just say I DIDN’T do it.

-Buford