Sunday, March 30, 2008

Swayze, Cancer, and High School Musical?

I was reading about Patrick Swayze’s cancer in People magazine. I always liked him……he usually played the tough guy, even in Dirty Dancing and Ghost. Its true, despite the pussification of the roles, when you get down to it, he was awesome in both. Nailed Baby in Dirty Dancing, and that was just because he tired of nailing the bored housewives all summer….a graduating senior was a different direction and Johnny Castle liked a different direction every once in a while. In Ghost, he was married to Demi Moore (who was still in her dirty, smoky voiced St. Elmo’s Fire stage), He died early on and then actually TORTURED AND KILLED the guys responsible for his death and STILL got to go upstairs. That is pretty big. You don’t see that all of the time from ghosts, especially not ghosts that are going to heaven.

Anyway, I was reading and they are getting comments from former costars and shit like that…Tom Cruise, Whoopi, a bunch of other people….and then I read the name Kenny Ortega from Dirty Dancing. I know that name! Why in the HELL would I know the name of the choreographer from Dirty Dancing? It then hit me, he is also the director and choreographer for the High School Musical movies, which if you have kids, you have seen more than once…Hell, I know most of the words to the movie at this point. ANYWAY, I decided that there really are only two choreographers in the world. Kenny Ortega and Debbie Allen, that’s it. I have been dropping his name randomly the past week too, just to see if anyone else knows who he is…no one. I guess I can’t say I’m surprised, who the hell knows choreographers? I was watching one of the making of shows from High School music and there is something comedic/awesome about seeing a guy that is almost sixty do all of the ‘latest’ dance moves and hanging out with the Disney generation. I guess he can kind of pull it off too without looking too much like a pervert. I think so at least.

So, two questions for you that hit me because of this article (and totally not related):

Question 1: Are there other Choreographers besides Debbie and Kenny? (1b) Should we really know their names anyway? I mean Fame for Debbie is an F-ing CAREER. Actually that is really all she did…I mean she showed up in plenty, but she is pretty much known for Fame (I think.) Kenny rocked out with Xanadu, Dirty Dancing, AND the High School Musical series…the guy just keeps making movies for each generation. But, does that matter? I don't think so...I think knowing a choreographer is more pretentious/gay than even knowing assistant directors/editors/cinematographers. Yep, I think we should only be aware of directors and actors...maybe some writers too. Thats it.

Question 2: With Patrick battling cancer (much love), what is your favorite Swayze film….and Road House is not an acceptable answer..because its too easy. And he wasn’t even that great in it. That movie was all about Sam Elliot. And if you disagree with that…you are 100% wrong.

Selected Filmography:

  • The OutsidersDarry…Pimp older brother, famous for telling Pony Boy to keep it under a pack a day. I love responsible parenting.
  • Uncommon ValorKevin Scott, he was kind of a bitch in this film….I’m putting it here because it’s about POW’s…oh, and Gene Hackman was in it. That’s it.
  • Red DawnJed, another awesome older brother role…C Thomas Howell again too. I love this movie. Again, war…propaganda, good times….I still like yelling ‘Wolverines’ every now and again too…even if My Name is Earl kind of ruined it.
  • YoungbloodDerek Sutton, to be honest with you, I don’t remember much about this movie, I just know that it was a Rob Lowe vehicle, and that bothered me.
  • Dirty DancingJohnny Castle, I think I made my feelings known above on this one.
  • Next of KinTruman Gates, inbred super cop! I love this movie…..definitely worth watching whenever its on cable. Plus, Ben Stiller has a role as a bad (tough) guy…The hell? Also Helen Hunt before she turned into an egomaniacal bitch!
  • Ghost – Sam Wheat, it’s pretty gay, but if you look deep enough its still awesome…you just have to look deep.
  • Point BreakBodhi, Bodhi was fantastic….banged chicks, robbed banks, got Zen, dared the Feds to take him down, and convinced Keanu Reeves to let him die in the ocean instead of going to jail. NICE.

He did some other movies too; most recently I enjoyed his role in a film called 11:14. (if you haven’t seen it, its worth checking out.) But, he hasn’t been “Swayze” in almost 20 years. Which is ok, we all don’t keep our fastball forever. None the less, big fan and I hope for the best for him and his family.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Women Sits on Toilet for 2 Years... WTF?!?!?

A wise person once said, “Love knows no bounds.” Who said it? I’m not sure. Are they really that wise? Not in my opinion. But time and time again we come across stories that pretty much make us say “wtf?” Like this one for example: LINK HERE

Now I shouldn’t have to tell you about the woman from Ness City, Kansas, who sat on the toilet for two years. Her boyfriend apparently brought her water and food during this time, and finally decided to call the authorities to help her out. Her skin grew around the toilet seat, so badly that they pried off the seat and it went with her to the hospital. She was found with her sweatpants at mid-thigh, and she didn’t want to leave the toilet. PD said that her legs looked atrophied.

Does this fit into the agoraphobia realm? I don’t know. I’m not a psychologist, but if there was ever a “safe place” it may be the bathroom. But sitting on the toilet for two years? I just don’t get it.

When I first heard this story I really wanted a picture of these messes. If anyone has one, I’d be glad to take a look. Feel free to email us ( The image that popped in my head almost automatically was that of Bonnie Grape, with a toilet seat embedded in her rear. While poor Johnny Depp (Gilbert Grape) reinforced the floor underneath. Screaming as the Sherriff Dept was pulling her out of the house.

“Give me back my toilet Jerry! Jerry! Give me back my toilet!”

Oh the imagery alone makes me chuckle, and I don’t mean to make fun of the mentally ill. I assume that’s what she is, because who sits on the pot for two years?!?! I think the bigger issue lies with the 36yo boyfriend. Did he cater to her besides food and water? Did he set up a TV in the bathroom, so she could watch Maury find out who is not the baby’s father? Did he give her a sponge bath on the toilet, or was she close enough to the sink that she could do it herself from her throne? Did he change her sweatpants for her? How can you afford to live on a toilet? Did she get some huge inheritance or did she rely on the boyfriend to pay the bills? Especially the water one.

Love knows no bounds. It may be true. Seriously though, who the 'eff continues to date someone that refuses to get off the toilet? For two years? I just don’t get him. I can’t get him. I think all space and time would cease to exist if I really understood what was going on through his head. It was really two years of waiting on this girl, before you said to yourself, “Something just isn’t right here.” Was it some sort of sick fetish? Maybe I can understand that.

So I continued thinking. It’s completely mean of me to have the imagery of her as Bonnie Grape. First off Darlene Cates deserves much better than that. She is a great actress and a lovely woman. In fact I apologize right here and right now to Ms. Cates, because there is no excuse for me to compare Bonnie Grape to a woman who grew around a toilet seat. In fact I do enjoy that movie, and may have even shed a tear during it. I hate myself for associating the two.

But if there ever was a “WTF? Moment,” this my dear readers is it.


Monday, March 3, 2008

His Name Is Dalton ~ RIP Jeff

Dalton: You play pretty good for a blind white boy.
Cody: Yea, and I thought you'd be bigger.

I am perhaps the worst person to be writing this up. I was never a big Jeff Healey Band fan (I did enjoy the jazz stuff though), but I was a big Road House fan. As you should all know by now Jeff Healey has succumbed to cancer.

He lost his sight at age one due to retinoblastoma, and his eyes were surgically removed. Jeff didn't let it hold him back. It was at age three that he picked up a guitar, and developed his own unique style of playing and sound.

Now I'm not trying to turn this into a wikipedia post, or an actual news story. I just wanted to show respect for a talented artist. Thoughts, prayers and well wishes out to Jeff's wife and two kids.

And Jeff... in the W.O.'s heart... you are immortal. Thank you for everything.


Sunday, March 2, 2008

The WO Poll - March '08

Its poll time again. Not a ton of movement this month. I'm not sure if we are getting lazier or if there just aren't enough hot girls in the news and on tv lately to make us change our minds. I'm going with the former, let me know if you think differently. Again, the format is an absolute work in progress. If anyone has any ideas on how to create a template or table, us halfwits at the WO headquarters would appreciate it!

On to the rankings...

1. (1) Kristen Bell - Three Polls, three top spots. I don't know what more we can say about her. She is just fantastic. Heroes needs to come back soon. Please. Seriously.

2. (2) Jennifer Love Hewitt - She is just a default choice in this spot now. Between her bitching to the media about her crappy swimsuit photos, banging yet another douchebag, and Ghost Whisperer becoming unwatchable, I don't know how much more leeway she is going to get….

3. (3) Mandy Moore - Its hard to move such absolute beauty. She isn't doing much to keep her name in the headlines, but damn she is fun to look at.

4. (4) Elisha Cuthbert - Another one that isn't doing a ton right now, other than being ridiculously hot. She gives off the vibe that even shlubs like us here at WO could possibly have a shot too. We appreciate that. We really do.

5. (6) Summer Glau - If robots seriously ever looked like this, the world would become exinct in very short order. I'm actually hoping fox cancels the show, I would like to speed up the nude pictorial process.

6. (NR) Hayden Panettiere - Big Jump for the young lady. She recently posed with Kbell in People, that might have had something to do with it. Either that or the staff at WO has a thing for 18 year olds…either one.

7. (10) Keira Knightley - Makes a move up the list…just because she is on the radar now and lets face it, she is Keira Fucking Knightley.

8. (5) Megan Fox - Slides down the Poll a little again this month (NIIIICE)….Some of us have moved on from the tattoed sexpot. Others? Not so much.

9. (9) Vida Guerra - Hot latin ladies are always welcome. Vida holds on to the 9 spot this month. Lets see what happens in April if there is any campaigning. Its hard to argue that she isn't worthy of a higher ranking, right?

10. (8) Blake Lively - I'm afraid Blake might be at the end of her stay on the WO poll. If Gossip Girl doesn't come back soon, I can't see her making it into April. Katherine Hiegl just lost out to her this month…we will see...

And there is the top 10 for March. We only had one drop from this month, Jessica Alba. She is showing and that just isn't what the WO poll is about. Just missing the cut were Julia Stiles (and all of her love for Metro) and Katherine Heigl....If the WO staff spots Julia at the Meadowlands in April again, there could most definitely be a change.