Saturday, September 27, 2008

They picked a Morrissey song? Seriously?

Everyday is like Sunday”…..After The Smiths broke up, Morrissey moved into a solo career and sang this song about, well what all of Morrissey’s songs are about… life being miserable and just trudging along to the finish line. God, is it any wonder that his music was the anthem for teen angst in the 80’s? I believe it's also quite popular with the closeted Mexican youth of today (I read this in Esquire). I'm not judging... well, I might be, but that’s a different story. I suppose it shouldn’t be shocking, I mean, he is talented. He is just mostly depressing. I still have Smiths songs on my computer, so I guess I’m just pointing out the obvious. I don’t know. I didn’t really write this to bash Morrissey; I guess I still like him. I have been humming the song to myself for a couple of weeks now, so it’s not that I think its crap, but that brings me to my point……

For those of you that live in caves and aren’t aware, the NFL season started a few weeks ago. Needless to say there are endless commercials on Fox, CBS, ESPN, etc for the NFL, and specifically the NFL Network. The NFL Network is a channel owned and operated by the National Football League. I didn’t think this channel had a chance. I was wrong. Anyway, they are pimping the channel everywhere they can… the ‘theme’ song for the channel??? Yes, its Morrissey’s ‘Everyday is Like Sunday’. I was… ummmmm… confused? I don’t know what I thought when I heard it. It’s ridiculous. Granted, they only sing the part where he says ‘Everyday is Like Sunday’ and I get that, but the song actually isn’t saying that Sunday is a good thing… he is saying that Sundays suck… and that is how everyday feels to him. Not exactly the message they are going for, right?

With that said, I have a few issues:
1. Morrissey/Smiths fans aren’t really the demo they are going for, are they? I hope not…because I don’t think that would work out well. From what I remember, the vast majority of Morrissey fans like to sit around and talk about how the world is pointless. I can’t see them wearing cheeseheads or carrying D-Fence signs.
2. If they aren’t going for that demo and they just liked the line of the song… was this like a joke by the advertising company that pitched the idea? A bunch of ad guys in their mid 30’s that got picked on by the jocks in high school, said ‘We can TOTALLY win now, let’s make the f-ing SONG of the NFL a Morrissey song!’ So they went to the very guys that stuffed them in lockers and dropped this on them… and it wasn’t Motley Crue or Zeppelin so they had no idea. If this it what happened, that would probably be the greatest thing ever in the history of advertising.
3. Morrissey was such an anti establishment bitch in his heyday, has he finally turned to the darkside and starting selling his songs for commercial use (and legitimate profit)? I think that makes me sad on some level (we will call this level, annoying teen Buford)…but, on the other hand I am all about making as much money as you can (grown up Buford). I don’t believe in artistic integrity. I mean, he wrote the song and it became popular 20 years ago… its not like HE changed the meaning. That was done by some slick ad execs on Madison Avenue. I don’t know though, I figured he was destined to be just a cult icon… and not a corporate slut. I guess this proves that ‘selling out’ is inevitable if you want to continue on in that business. This is something that should be pointed out to all the stupid emo kids that make me want to homeschool my children.

I just can't see these guys listening to 'Louder than Bombs', can you?


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Aiken For Bacon

The sky is blue, water is wet, fire is hot and Aiken is gay. Next?

Clay Aiken's news link here... for those parties interested and/or those living under rocks.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Barry Watched the 60th Emmy Awards

I noticed a few things about the Emmys that I wanted to share. Sure it’s not an eloquent opening, but I really don’t care.

Side note: I really wanted to edit out the accidental rhyme, but part of the beauty of the WO is the willingness of it’s contributors to jump on the grenade or perhaps under the bus. I should be slapped for that rhyme. I’m just going to let it sit there, and torture myself with it. I really really do hate it. Anyway back to the blog.

Tina Fey is up first. What can one say about Tina? Ms. Fey is hot, smart, funny and just an all around perfect woman. Can people please stop comparing her to Sarah Palin? After all Sarah Palin is none of the above. Why? Have you ever heard Palin during an interview? Not a speech prepared by a team of people trained to shape her image. I’m talking about a legit interview. I honestly think my dog is smarter than her. Tina Fey is amazing. Sarah Palin is a governor of a state no one cares about. Stop the comparisons.

Moving on…. It’s time to scold the Emmy writers. Oscars, Grammys, Mtv Whatever Awards, etc… please take note. You can’t write. You unfunny C’s ruin everything. Why do you torture us year after year with your flat humor? I blame Sean Penn. Sean… Chris Rock was hilarious. Maybe because you don’t have a sense of humor you have to go and be an ass, but don’t ruin it for the rest of us. Same goes to Jordan Sparks. Jordan, no one cares about your opinion. You snaked a career via an ‘effin reality show. So the Jonas Brothers wear promise rings, and someone made fun of them. Big deal. I think the more humorous aspect of the Jonas Brothers wearing promise rings is the fact that they can have almost any girl now, but by the time they’re ready to get busy… their record will be in the 99cent bin and no one would ever consider ‘effing them. Especially now that we realize they can’t defend themselves, and need Jordan Sparks to stand up for them.

Along the same lines, who likes Josh Groban? Seriously? Can someone please make this over dramatic ass stop? Please?

Sorry… back to the writers. You all suck. Give your paychecks back now. You are a disgrace to every writer that was on strike last year.

Finally (and the main reason for this post), the WO’s dreams almost came true. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden Panettiere present an award together. Well that may not be entirely accurate. The dream is to be in a Hewitt-Panettiere sandwich, but lets put that aside for now (perhaps that’s a whole other blog post). Amanda Beckett and Claire Bennet on stage at the same time? Be still my heart. Finally award shows seem to be throwing straight males a bone. It was a beautiful moment, and I nearly cried out of joy. What award did they announce? No clue. All I heard at that moment where birds and choirs of angels. Buford felt the same way, considering it was mentioned in the first email he sent me Monday. The WO thanks the Emmys for that. It was truly the only way to celebrate the 60th anniversary.


Questions/Comments? You know where to reach us.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Man Crush...First? Last? We will see...

Someone mentioned on Barry's Facebook that we didn't have a man list to complement our Monthly WO Poll... So, we gave it a shot. We're all about keeping it fair...I don't know if this is what she had in mind, but what the hell? It passed the time...and I barely questioned my sexuality at all putting this together! In no particular order, here it is:

Matthew McConaughey - The guy has parlayed a supporting character role in a movie from 15 years ago into a career and lifestyle. Or did his lifestyle create the role of Wooderson? Either way, I love this guy. Even his stupid movies are enjoyable to me (and really, that is most of them.) I also love the fact that he was able to successfully avoid bad press after smoking weed and playing the bongos naked. Could you imagine if that was anyone else? Seriously…this guy gets a pass from EVERYONE.

Seth Green - Seth Green is gold... even if it's gold shit.” Barry sent me that in an email. And it really sums up Seth Green. Even the crappiest show or movie he has done is totally watchable, just for his scenes if nothing else. Plus, he was in The Byrds of Paradise with JLH. Fortunately, working with JLH did not help Scott Wolf or Matthew Fox make the list.

Bruce Campbell - The B movie legend himself. Bruce Campbell brings the goods and is just awesome in everything. I’m pretty sure you could just roll up to him at a bar and start talking to him too. I’m watching him on Burn Notice every week and I’m digging it. Hell, I feel like I need to re-watch Army of Darkness and Escape from LA tonight.

Sam Elliott – I’m pretty sure there should be a picture of Sam in the dictionary next to the term ‘Bad Ass’. I have yet to see him in a movie where he wasn’t the coolest guy in it. Hell, I watched Ghost Rider (three times!) just because of Sam. Speaking of which; how did Nick Cage screw that movie up so bad? That movie almost HAD to be awesome. I’m angry again.

Giovanni Savarese – Probably the main reason we here at the WO still believe that Metro (The Red Bulls) are something to follow. Came out of nowhere in the inaugural season scored a bunch of goals and just made the first few seasons worth watching. He isn’t playing or working for the team any longer, but he is still in our hearts. Sidenote, Barry and I have met more than one celebrity in our day. Gio is the only one that turned us into little school girls when we were introduced to him.

Clint Eastwood – This guy has been kicking ass and taking names for decades. I’m afraid if he wasn’t on this list that he might come find us at the WO headquarters and just end us. You do NOT f-with Clint. Period.

Kevin Spacey - American Beauty, The Usual Suspects, Seven, he’s from Jersey, questionable sexuality…how can he NOT be on this list? I liked him in the new Superman movie too…even if I thought that new Superman movie kind of sucked.

Tommy Lee Jones – Another one of the ‘tough guys’ of Hollywood. Always cool in his movies and in interviews. I loved him in the Fugitive. Sam Gerard was just as tough as it gets. Hell, they made a sequel based on his character. They knew what was up. Big fan of all of his work (Yes, even Under Siege)…I also find it amusing that he probably has tons of awkward pictures of Al Gore getting colored on or tea bagged after ‘late nights’ at Harvard bars. And yes, Tommy is apparently wicked smaht too.

Johnny Depp – I don’t think much needs to be said about Johnny. So, I will just tell a little story instead. I was 18 years old and I was getting a tattoo. I wanted to get the same tattoo that Johnny had (the Indian head, not the wino(na) forever tattoo). Anyway, I thought it was awesome. I’m part Indian (allegedly), it’s perfect. Tattoos are supposed to mean something. So the Indian head would work two fold….Celebrate my (alleged) heritage and honor my secret man crush. So, I get there and I find the tattoo I want. The problem is its 300 bucks. I’m 18 and do not have 300 dollars, not even close…plus, my parents HATE tattoos, so I couldn’t very well ask them. Damn, I guess I wasn’t supposed to get the same tattoo as Johnny. So I found this tribal-esque Phoenix. 75 bucks. Done. I’m 18 and I have my tat and everything is awesome. Except a few years later I see it on someone else. It’s on someone from another show on Fox. Yes. I now have the same tattoo as Brian Austin Green. I guess it could have been worse. I could have gotten the same tattoo as David Faustino.

David Wright - He'll consistently give you a .300 average, with 30 HRs and 100 RBIs, he'll play an almost flawless third base, he's accommodating to fans and media, and he does everything with a smile (the ladies tell me he's easy on the eyes, too). In a world where professional athletes are aloof and self-centered (read "assholes"), David is one of those guys who "gets it". He's a throwback to a simpler time where players cared more about championships, teammates and fans than they did about paychecks. He's also a white guy, which is becoming increasingly rare these days. Where did all those guys go, anyway?


Heath Ledger - I think Heath had a chance to be something big. He made some really good movies, seemed like a down to earth guy, and (obviously) liked to party. Plus, he even tried to make gay cowboys cool…which didn’t really work out, but at least he was a top, right? I haven’t seen the Dark Knight yet, but Barry gives it rave reviews. I will always remember him from Monster’s Ball and 10 Things I Hate About You. Monster’s Ball because he showed he was a ridiculous talent and 10 things for introducing some of us to the glory that is Julia Stiles. Also, he nailed an Olsen Twin! That gets you on the list.

Steve McQueen – Does Steve still get the love he should on being the ultimate Man’s man? Probably not anymore…which is sad. This guy did it all... and he did it all with a Marlboro hanging out his mouth. For Bullitt alone, the guy needs to be mentioned every time a list like this is created.

So....There you have it...or First Man Crush list. Let us know if we left anyone off... or if we have completely gone over to the gay side...


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The WO Poll - September 08

Are you ready to meet the women of September? I know I am. The poll is late this week, but sometimes life gets in the way. We’ll do our best to keep it updated in the future. Now on to the list…

1. (1) Kristen Bell – Another month for Veronica Mars in the number one spot. She’s starting to lose steam in the votes, but with Heroes coming back (is she even still on that show) it could help her maintain position. Is Fanboys ever going to be released? Why do they insist on keeping Kristen Bell in Leia’s Metal Bikini away from us?

2. (4) Jennifer Love Hewitt – It was an extremely busy August for Miss Jennifer Love. First of all, she is smoking (hot not cigarettes). She lost a few pounds that the press hounded her about earlier in the year. Let’s be honest nobody at The WO was going to kick her out of bed, but words can’t even express how smoking (again… hot not the cigarettes) she is right now. In other Amanda Beckett news, JLH announced to the world that she wished she “had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28.” (LINK HERE) Well if you want to change that to 18-28 (keeping it legal -ed.), I’m sure there is not a straight man alive who doesn’t wish the same thing. Could the muse behind the list find her way back to the top? We’ll see.

3. (2) Elisha Cuthbert – Taking a hit from J-Love’s reemergence Ms. Cuthbert drops a spot. Had she announced that she wanted to stay nude as well (hint hint –ed.), I’m sure it would have titillated us enough to keep her in second place. Let’s not kid ourselves. She’s still beautiful, and just being nominated for the WO List puts you in a high position in the world of hotness. Elisha is also returning to 24. Our TV lineup is filling up quickly.

4. (3) Mila Kunis – Mila drops a spot as well this month, thanks to Jennifer Love Hewitt. Why do we love Mila so much? The first reason is she just seems like a cool chick. The second? She gets us crazy amounts of hits. I assume the second reason is directly related to the first, and all of us, readers and fans alike, can agree that she is a sexy woman. Cast as Mona Sax in the upcoming Max Payne film, I can assure you she’ll get continued exposure and keep the fanboys drooling.

5. (5) Mandy Moore – Staying strong in the five spot, without much going on, we have Mandy Moore. She showed up on TV’s Stand Up To Cancer, but we are truly hoping for more exposure. The WO hates cancer, but loves Mandy Moore. We’d love to see her in a lighter mood. Pssst… Mandy. We like mixed martial arts as well, if you want to send us an invite... just saying.

6. (9) Keira Knightley – From nine to six in one month. She was the biggest mover besides those who dropped off the list completely, and the women returning or new this month. Why? I’d love to write something here, but I honestly have no clue. I don’t remember seeing her lately. Better to not over explain. She’s still smoking, and forces us to watch period pieces. How could you not like that in a woman?

7. (7) Katherine Heigl – Staying strong at number seven is Ms. Heigl. Still hot, but doesn’t have much going on besides The Ugly Truth in post-production. We could see her start to slip.

8. (NR) Nastia Liukin – Bypassing the bubble and making her first appearance on the list…. At 5’3’’… 100lbs… bringing the gold back to the United States… Nastia Liukin! (pause for applause) It’s no easy feat to win gold, and it’s not easy to make the WO list either. This woman has it all, and she’s not going away. The girl has Cover Girl ads lined up, Vanilla Star Jeans is releasing signature model Nastia Liukin Gold Jeans, two publishers are scrapping it out with each other to sign her to a two book deal, she makes the cover of the Wheaties box and she’s seen hanging out all over NYC during Fashion Week. She may not stay on the list forever, but welcome to glory Nastia. Congrats on the medals as well.

9. (8) Eliza Dushku – Ms. Dushku drops a spot because she hasn’t won a gold medal… yet. Does anyone know what the word is on Dollhouse? I’m lazy, and haven’t checked in awhile. She’s still hot. She stays on the list another month. We can let that speak for her.

10. (NR) Blake Lively – That’s right folks. She’s back from the bubble, and Gossip Girl has a new season. I wonder how The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 went… I should ask Buford later. Beautiful as ever, we end the list this month with Blake. That’s not bad… not bad at all.

The Bubble: Crashing out of the top ten this month are Olivia Munn (Aug #6) and Gracyanne Barbosa (Aug #10). Other women in the bubble this month include Reby Sky, Anne Hathaway and Hayden Panettiere (Heroes is coming back). Jessica Alba makes an appearance, and word on the street is that the baby is out and she’s looking sexy. Could she find herself back on the list soon? I assume so. Jess Weixler makes an appearance on the bubble, but without any real fame can it last? Still, we love her this month. Rounding out the bubble for September is Sarah Palin. With a slight resemblance to Tina Fey, she’s just MILF-tastic. Vice President worthy? Who knows? But we’d shoot off some rounds with her any day.

That’s all for this month. Questions? Comments? You know where to reach us.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

This sucks....

First Quarter, first game on Sunday and my season is over. I’m sure I’m not the only one that had this problem yesterday, but DAMN. Tom Brady goes down for the count in the first quarter? Yikes. My back up is Jason Campbell. I didn’t really care much about him because he was only getting into one game this season…NOW? Crap. The second I saw on the ticker that Brady was most likely done for the season I ran to the computer and picked up anyone off of the waiver wire. Turns out someone just dropped Kurt Warner. I picked him up hoping for the best. We will see, I have trouble putting my fantasy hopes into a guy that peaked 8 years ago and has been fighting for a job ever since. I don’t expect much, not much at all. Oh and to make room on the team, I had to drop my back up Tight End. What did I care?? I will just pick up a tight end when the Colts (and my starter Dallas Clark) are on a bye week……ummm. Yeah, Dallas Clark looks like might be done too (ed. it looks like he might make it...). Perfect.

I love fantasy sports….except when shit like this happens. Now I’m staring at 4 months of a crap season.

And yes...I play fantasy sports. Like Lester Bangs said "I'm not cool"


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

RIP Snowman

Yesterday we lost a great American, Mr. Jerry Reed. Whether you know him as The Snowman (Cledus Snow, close buddy of the Bandit), Coach Red Beaulieu (He did fire the Waterboy), or as the great musician he was, Jerry Reed touched all of our lives here at the WO. We ask you all to drink a Coors in his honor tonight.

News Link

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin'... a'we gonna do what they say can't be done... We've got a long why to go and a short time to get there... I'm east bound just watch ol'Bandit run

RIP Jerry... RIP.


Birthday Trifecta – 09-02-08

Now The WO can’t be responsible for announcing every birthday that goes by, or we’d be a blog of complete nonsense. Today is special however, and we see an occurrence of a WO Birthday Trifecta.

Today marks the 30th anniversary of Dawn of the Dead. Although not released until later in the US, Romero’s shopping mall zombie fest was released in Italy on September 2nd, 1978. Besides being an awesome movie, the remake showed us all that Sarah Polley could be hot running around barefoot from the undead. No disrespect to Gaylen Ross whatsoever. So congrats on the birthday Dawn of the Dead.

Also turning one year older today is Über-MILF Salma Hayek. 42 years old and still hot. God bless you, Santanico Pandemonium. You are still one of the hottest Muses out there (Kevin Smith’s Dogma reference for the uneducated in fine cinema).

Last but not least is a personal favorite of the WO’s own Buford. Johnny Utah aka Keanu Reeves turns 44 today. Love him or hate him, Keanu is pop-culture royalty. Ted “Theodore” Logan has had a long luxurious career. Youngblood, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Point Break, Speed, The Replacements, The Matrix, and the list goes on and on. Thomas Anderson will also play the role of Klaatu in the certain-to-be-awful remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. The WO gives you props Shane Falco. After all, “Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.”

Happy Birthday to you all.

The WO.