Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Think I Love You....

I think I love you….

"I totally plan to go back into acting once the strike stops," Reid told Pop Tarts last week at Eva Longoria-Parker's Padres Contra El Cancer's 8th Annual "El Sueno De Esperanza" benefit gala in Hollywood. "The economy is so bad right now that people are afraid to put money back into acting. Even the shows that seem new, they really shot six months ago. So when it's all back up again, I will go back into it. That's my heart," she said.

Oh Tara…… Seriously, does it get more delusional than this? We here at WO headquarters don’t pretend to be in the know on all things Hollywood, but I’m fairly confident in saying that the writers’ strike is indeed over and has been for quite some time (ed- SAG has a meeting Oct 18th to decide future, and we know that’s not what she was talking about). I love that Tara Reid has decided to continue her own personal strike in that precious little head of hers, and that is the reason why she isn’t working right now. It's not that she CANT get a job people, it’s about principles… and she has got ‘em… loads of ‘em. Smarts? Not so much.

I am willing to overlook such things. Because baby likes to party and you KNOW she is fun time. The downside (of course) is that she is already over 30. Which means, with her lifestyle she only has two years (tops) before she turns into a 3rd shift bar whore. Some might even say she has reached that level. I am not one of those people. Yet. That time is probably coming… and coming soon. But, I think she has another run in her still. And I will be anxiously waiting for it….Worst Case? There is a Cinemax movie in her future… so either way we are winners.


PROOF: There is no god.

A lot of time has passed from our original article on Wednesday, March 12th, 2008, and I can assure you a lot has changed. Pam Babcock, who may be better off forgetting the story that made her famous, is back in the news, and not for the reasons the public would hope. No she did not grow around a toilet again; in fact she was released from a hospital after a few months of treatment.

The reason she was in the news was because of her pathetic let-my-girl-live-in-the-bathroom-for-two-years boyfriend Kory McFarren. He received probation for the incident, but again this is not why we bring the couple up.

You see… Kory McFarren proved there is no god. How is this possible? Not only did this douche bag win the lottery. He did it twice. According to the AP article (click here), “A Kansas man whose girlfriend was physically stuck to the toilet in their home wins $20,000 in the state Lottery, for the second time this year. Kory McFarren cashed in his winning $2 Bonus Crossword ticket…”

Thank you, Kory. We were all wondering what happens in the afterlife. Now we know. Nothing.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The WO Poll - October 08

I beg all of your forgiveness. I know how obsessed you all are with the WO Poll, because I know how obsessed we are. It is late, and I apologize. You can stop sending the hate mail now. Let’s get it started….

1. (2) Jennifer Love Hewitt – It’s a little known fact, but before the WO Poll existed in reality, JLH was our go to girl. Number one in all of our hearts, the WO Queen was knocked off by Kristen Bell in the creation of the first recorded poll. Jennifer returns to greatness this month, and the majority of WO Headquarters is glad. Over the course of the year she has fluctuated, but the new found body has found her back to the top. We still love you J.Love.

2. (1) Kristen Bell – The Queen is dead… long live the Queen… I think more than anything Kristen’s slip comes from lack of exposure. Sure she’s around, but not around enough. Don’t get too upset if you’re in Ms. Bell’s corner, nine months in the top spot is quite the feat. She isn’t disappearing from the list anytime soon, so we’ll just chalk up this fall to the re-emergence of Ms. Love Hewitt.

3. (3) Elisha Cuthbert – Holding steady in the number three spot we have Elisha. Still hot and still on the list. The only problem I’m running into is something to fill up the rest of this space…. Forget it. Let’s just look at Elisha. On a rare side note, it should be stated that points wise the top three women are far ahead of the rest, with a huge point drop off. There was a lot of movement this week, starting with…

4. (NR) Summer Glau – Summer bypasses the bubble, and shoots straight into the number four spot this month. The Sarah Connor Chronicles are back on, and she is smoking in the print ads. If the robots that rise up and take over the world look like this… the WO might have to join their side in the revolution. You may say, “Seriously?!? Robots over real live breathing flesh?” I would reply, “Look at her. ‘Nuff said.

5. (6) Keira Knightley – Up a spot this month we find Miss Period Piece herself. I’m still waiting on Bend It Like Beckham 2. I got the script all planned out in my head, and it doesn’t involve her fighting over an Irish coach. So, Hollywood if you’re listening… get in touch with my people.

6. (8) Nastia Liukin – Alright look… Yes. She’s young (but legal), and has a lot of future potential. We here at the WO are just extremely impressed with athletes, and we have no doubt in our minds that her tiny frame could brutalize any of us in a fight. Not that it would come to that. Exceptional women not only scare us at times, but fascinate us. She’s got the Wheaties box and the medals to back up any detractors that think she shouldn’t be on the list. We hope she has a long bright future in whatever she does, and we are sure she will with the endorsement dollars she’s pulling in right now.

7. (5) Mandy Moore – What happened Mandy? I’ll tell you... Where are you? The last time we heard about you, you were rushing to the bedside of injured famous-overrated-nobody DJ AM. We respect you for that. It shows loyalty, to friends in times of need. Still that’s all we’ve heard in forever. Give Michael Stipe a call. The world needs a Saved 2. While you’re on the phone with him, ask him if REM is going to return to it’s college rock roots ever. Some of us don’t like the trying-to-hard-artsy direction they’ve gone. We miss you Mandy.

8. (10) Blake Lively – Up two spots is the woman that Buford continues to campaign for, Ms. Lively. She has been on the bubble/list boarder for quite some time, and looks like she’s gaining strength in the poll. This is a good thing for all parties involved. At the next WO Editorial Staff Meeting, maybe we can get Buford to do an in-depth review/piece on Blake and the rest of the Gossip Girl cast. I think it could be a classic.

9. (NR) Megan Fox – So she wanted to date a stripper. I’m sure you all know this by now, believe me the WO staff knows this by now. Could there be anything hotter than Megan Fox in the arms of a woman? No. Brian Austin Green does not count, because after doing some research he is technically a man. Ms. Fox gives us hope (much like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mandy Moore and Kristen Bell) that any man has a shot at her. Side note: WO story idea. Hollywood vixens and the nobodies they date. I like it.

10. (7) Katherine Heigl – Katherine Heigl is dropping like a rock. She actually tied for tenth place with Eliza Dushku, but the tie breaker came down to who had a higher rank in the previous poll. It was the only fair way to do it, because I believe Dushku has more potential for upward movement than Heigl at this point. If this is all I have to complain about, the list is not in bad shape. Katherine Heigl is still amazingly hot. No one can argue that.

The Bubble:
So here we are talking about the girls who continue to scrap (Ed. I don’t see no girls, Kenny…) for a spot on the prestigious WO Poll. We already talked about Dushku’s (Sept 08 #9) fall from the list in a tie breaker, what about Mila Kunis (Sept 08 #4) who took the biggest fall this week? I’m sure she’ll be back as well. Stuck in the bubble this week are the always lovely Olivia Munn, HeroesHayden Panettiere, Anne Hathaway and Gracyanne Barbosa. These are all women who have tasted greatness before, and are not ready to give up. Returning to the bubble from her maternity leave is Jessica Alba, who is rocking a post birth body like never before seen. Joining her for their first weeks in the bubble are the ridiculously hot Nicky Whelan, Brooke Burke and the original-Sarah-Palin, Miss Tina Fey.

That’s all for October, and we’ll see you on time in November.
Questions/Comments? Hit us up.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Jersey Girl's Birthday

This quick respect piece was deferred to me by Buford. He says that I’m good at throwing the quick crap together. Unfortunately there is no easy and/or quick way to write about this woman.

Growing up in my (our) part of Jersey there were a few things guys could agree on, yet the two that automatically come to mind are our love of soccer and Elisabeth Shue. On the 6th of October in the year of 1963, Delaware produced its finest product ever, and quickly gave this goddess to the only state that could contain her. Elisabeth Shue is the definition of Jersey Girl.

She played high school soccer on a boy’s team, due to the lack of girl teams at the time. She stole all of our hearts as Ali Mills in The Karate Kid. She would continue to do it again as Chris Parker in Adventures in Babysitting, Jordan Mooney in Cocktail, Jennifer Parker in Back to the Future II and III (sorry Claudia Wells), Leaving Las Vegas, The Saint, Palmetto, Hollow Man and Hamlet 2. How can one woman find her way into so many guy-flicks? Okay... so maybe a few of them aren’t exactly guy flicks… who’s paying attention that closely?

I can’t think of a single moment where Elisabeth Shue wasn’t hot. Think about it. Wines mature nicely, but they have nothing on Ms. Shue. So… she’s married to an Oscar winning Guggenheim, who helped Al Gore try to save the world, and makes all of us here at WO Headquarters look like complete scumbags. I know… I know… it wasn’t that hard, but even when we don’t have a chance, it’s nice to pretend.

Now stopping myself before I begin to write a thesis style post… The WO just wanted to wish Ms. Shue a very very happy belated birthday. Thank you for all you have given us over the years. I don’t think the WO would exist without you.