Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Women Sits on Toilet for 2 Years... WTF?!?!?

A wise person once said, “Love knows no bounds.” Who said it? I’m not sure. Are they really that wise? Not in my opinion. But time and time again we come across stories that pretty much make us say “wtf?” Like this one for example: LINK HERE

Now I shouldn’t have to tell you about the woman from Ness City, Kansas, who sat on the toilet for two years. Her boyfriend apparently brought her water and food during this time, and finally decided to call the authorities to help her out. Her skin grew around the toilet seat, so badly that they pried off the seat and it went with her to the hospital. She was found with her sweatpants at mid-thigh, and she didn’t want to leave the toilet. PD said that her legs looked atrophied.



Does this fit into the agoraphobia realm? I don’t know. I’m not a psychologist, but if there was ever a “safe place” it may be the bathroom. But sitting on the toilet for two years? I just don’t get it.

When I first heard this story I really wanted a picture of these messes. If anyone has one, I’d be glad to take a look. Feel free to email us (worthlessops@gmail.com). The image that popped in my head almost automatically was that of Bonnie Grape, with a toilet seat embedded in her rear. While poor Johnny Depp (Gilbert Grape) reinforced the floor underneath. Screaming as the Sherriff Dept was pulling her out of the house.

“Give me back my toilet Jerry! Jerry! Give me back my toilet!”

Oh the imagery alone makes me chuckle, and I don’t mean to make fun of the mentally ill. I assume that’s what she is, because who sits on the pot for two years?!?! I think the bigger issue lies with the 36yo boyfriend. Did he cater to her besides food and water? Did he set up a TV in the bathroom, so she could watch Maury find out who is not the baby’s father? Did he give her a sponge bath on the toilet, or was she close enough to the sink that she could do it herself from her throne? Did he change her sweatpants for her? How can you afford to live on a toilet? Did she get some huge inheritance or did she rely on the boyfriend to pay the bills? Especially the water one.

Love knows no bounds. It may be true. Seriously though, who the 'eff continues to date someone that refuses to get off the toilet? For two years? I just don’t get him. I can’t get him. I think all space and time would cease to exist if I really understood what was going on through his head. It was really two years of waiting on this girl, before you said to yourself, “Something just isn’t right here.” Was it some sort of sick fetish? Maybe I can understand that.

So I continued thinking. It’s completely mean of me to have the imagery of her as Bonnie Grape. First off Darlene Cates deserves much better than that. She is a great actress and a lovely woman. In fact I apologize right here and right now to Ms. Cates, because there is no excuse for me to compare Bonnie Grape to a woman who grew around a toilet seat. In fact I do enjoy that movie, and may have even shed a tear during it. I hate myself for associating the two.


But if there ever was a “WTF? Moment,” this my dear readers is it.

~barry

2 comments:

michfan2123 said...

What did she do for birthdays? Did she get Christmas presents? Did she ever get haircuts? Cut her nails? Did she ever clean her vag after a menstrual cycle? Her vag must have smelled like death after all that time.

Worthless Opinions said...

Like a bag of damp rusty hammers I would assume.