Friday, August 22, 2008


WHICH hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital - and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut….

I read this in the NY Post this week. I hate blind items…but, I really love them too. They give you JUST enough to make you think you can figure it out, but you can’t. Anyway, this one is killing me. Seriously, just read it again!

I know we don’t get comments much on the WO (which is a shame…Barry and Speed are actually drinking more because of it..good job!) Help us out here. Who could this possibly be?

Here is what we know:

  • Summer movie
  • Hunk
  • Closet case
  • Can afford (at least) a half million payoff amount.

I know it’s not a ton to go on, but it’s a start. Here is the work I have done:

List of summer movies starring ‘hunks’ (as per the US Weekly definition, of course)

Iron Man – Robert Downey Jr (Is he a ‘hunk’ capable of hospital like violence? I just don’t see it. If anything, Robert is a bottom.)

Speed Racer – Emile Hirsh (Ummm……never mind.)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – Shia LaBeouf (Drinks a ton, gets in trouble often, takes REALLY awkward pictures. Can he bring the pain? That is the question)

The Incredible Hulk – Ed Norton (A little payback for the American History X scene? Maybe, but doubtful.)

The Dark Knight – Christian Bale (He beat up his mom and sister over talking shit about his wife. Hate f-ing a secret boyfriend doesn’t seem too far fetched, now does it?)

The Mummy 3 – Brendan Fraser (He is that All American guy, wife and kids, the whole nine….I could see him wanting to keep a secret…plus, I think he can kick some ass if necessary)

Granted, I only took the stars out of a few of the bigger films, it could be anyone in any of the films this summer. The only thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is….it definitely wasn’t Heath Ledger….Too soon? Ehhh…..I tried.

Who is the Hollywood Hunk??????


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